


I'm Looking for Closure

by thinlines



Series: Able to Love [3]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Louis, Dirty Talk, Finally they fuck, Kissing, M/M, Porn With Plot, Rimming, Rough Sex, Talking During Sex, Top Harry, angsty sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-07-08 07:54:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19866109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thinlines/pseuds/thinlines
Summary: Related to Part 1 and Part 2 (Not Scared of Love, Just Sacred to Love & Demons in my Brain, Love.)“Say you can read my mind.” Harry said to Louis as he pushed Louis down onto the mattress. Louis squirmed as the covers rubbed against his skin.“I can’t read your mind.” He said simply to Harry as he reached up to put his hands against Harry’s chest, trailing them down to Harry’s narrow hips.“My mind is saying that I should just… just fucking go back in time. Go back so I could be your first.” Harry said, leaning down to lick into Louis’ hot mouth.Or They finally fuck, sorry, I mean, make love.





	I'm Looking for Closure

**Author's Note:**

> I kinda wanna write a part 4? Stop me please haha
> 
> [Tumblr](https://thinlinez.tumblr.com/)

Louis never had sex with feelings. Making love, right, that was what most people called it. He was scared out of his mind. He was sweating. Have been sweating for the last hour. Even though he was just sitting there, on Harry’s bed in he and Niall’s shared dorm room, knees barely grazing against Harry’s, pretending to watch Thor: Ragnarok. He had picked the movie knowing that he wanted to tease Harry. He had. He had been teasing his boyfriend for the first hour about how hot Loki was with that head of long sleek black hair. He knew he had wanted to get on Harry’s nerve about not growing out his curls. “It’s summer, Lou.” Harry had replied for the umpteenth time when Louis had practically begged him to grow it out. Louis had stopped his teasing an hour again, he had also stopped watching the movie all together. Suddenly, too aware of how his and Harry’s body heat were radiating off of each other on the small crammed dorm bed. How the air conditioning quietly humming over their heads wasn’t doing anything to cool Louis. He felt hot, agitated and he couldn’t help but think oh god what if they ended up having sex? Because Louis had kind of anticipated it. Well, they have been dating for almost a year now.

Louis didn’t know how to act on his first date with Harry which was to Six Flags. He had forced Harry to ride roller coasters knowing that his boyfriend hated it, resented it. But Harry being Harry, would do anything for Louis. He was really lucky to be with his boy, Louis had thought. They had always been kissing. But sex… well, Louis was scared out of his mind. He wasn’t a stranger to sex, hell no, he was well acquainted. However, he was really fucking scared of sex with Harry. It felt so much more intimate, as if making a promise. Louis sighed as he slid an inch down the wall which he had been leaning against.

Harry was watching as Thor picked Loki up, hurling his limp body towards the guards. He was smiling a little, amused. Louis reached out, couldn’t help himself, couldn’t stop himself, inching his small needy hand towards Harry’s large one. He grazed Harry’s knuckle and Harry jolted, turning towards Louis with a soft smile on his lips ready to answer, to do anything that Louis asked him to. “You’re right, Lou. This movie is so funny.” Harry said, almost whispering and he took Louis’ hand and rubbed circles into it. He felt himself chickening out. Felt the will in his veins slipping away as he looked into the forest in Harry’s eyes.

“Kiss me.” He demanded suddenly. He always needed Harry's touch, craved it so much that it was almost unhealthy. Harry raised an eyebrow but obliged happily. Shifting the computer from his lap, ignoring the fight breaking out on screen. He put an arm around Louis, letting the smaller boy lean his full weight onto him and with a finger, raised Louis’ jaw so that he was looking up. He kissed Louis, meaningful and certain. No longer shy like the days when they had started dating. Kissing Louis with a confidence that he didn’t use to possess, kissed him just the way he liked to be kissed, knowing how to kiss Louis and make him feel hot and bothered. They kissed languidly and finally Harry pulled away, a little hesitantly, sighing against Louis’ lips one last time before he leaned back.

He pressed his temple against Louis’ and said, “We have to stop Lou. Before I go crazy.” Louis knew Harry knew that Louis wasn’t ready but today, today Louis felt more than ready. He yanked Harry’s jaw back towards him, pressed a bruising kiss against Harry’s slack lips. “Who says you can stop? Don’t stop.” He said and kissed Harry again. “Lou?” Harry’s hand was tracing patterns on his back as he mumbled. He looked questioningly at Louis, confused. “Don’t stop.” Louis whined, shoving Harry in the chest.

Harry contemplated him but still obeyed. They kissed, heated and more desperate this time. “I can’t promise I won’t do anything.” Harry said as if warning Louis. Louis nodded frantically and felt Harry grabbed the hem of his tank top. He heard it rip as Harry tugged a little too harshly, trying to get it over Louis’ head. “Sorry.” Harry grumbled and Louis shook his head. “It’s okay.” He managed. In awe of this version of Harry that he didn’t know. Harry looked wild with lust and Louis felt the same.

“I’ve waited for too long to have you.” Harry said as he raked his eyes over Louis’ exposed skin. He reached out to tug at Louis’ shorts. Louis took them off immediately, shaking in only his boxers. Sweat clinging onto his skin and he was afraid he smelled bad because he had been playing football that afternoon before coming over to Harry’s. “It kills me,” Harry was saying as he pulled off his own shirt impatiently and pushing his jeans down his legs in one swift move. “Kills me to look at you, knowing that you used to let other people have their way with you.” Louis was breathing a little hard.

“Say you can read my mind.” Harry said to Louis as he pushed Louis down onto the mattress. Louis squirmed as the covers rubbed against his skin. He had never felt so sensitive and so much like this was his first time. It was his first time though, he thought wildly. His first time to make love, to have Harry make love to him.

“I can’t read your mind.” He said simply to Harry as he reached up to put his hands against Harry’s chest, trailing them down to Harry’s narrow hips. “My mind is saying that I should just… just fucking go back in time. Go back so I could be your first.” Harry said, leaning down to lick into Louis’ hot mouth. Louis dug his fingers into Harry’s hips, steadying the boy on top of him as they kissed. “You are my first.” He said against Harry’s lips.

“I am going to hurt you Louis. Because I have been waiting for too damn long. You made my heart ache. You made my heart break. Now, I want you to fall apart because of me.” Louis was definitely surprised at this Harry, face thrown into dark shadows in the dimly lit dorm room.

“I have been too long gone for you.” Harry said, he gripped Louis’ hair in his hand and without warning, reached under Louis so that his long fingers ghosted over Louis’ hole. Louis shivered as he squirmed, he locked his hands behind Harry’s neck, pulling him in. Harry leaned into Louis, but his fingers had gone. He was fumbling around under the bed, finding some lube and squeezing dollops onto his fingers.

“Hurt me.” Louis breathed. Harry cupped Louis’ arse in his hand and squeezed. Louis’ breath hitched audibly. He felt the lube cool against his skin. “I’m looking at the devil.” Harry said as he sank a finger into Louis without warning. “You are so surreal. Will I die tonight?” Louis had no idea what Harry was on about but it was succeeding in making him hard as a rock. He whined, humping up into air.

“Touch me.” He demanded. Harry ignored him, crooking his finger so that it rubbed against Louis’ prostate. Louis could come he realized, just on Harry’s one finger. Damn it. He choked out a sob as Harry sank in another finger. He tilted his face up so that he could kiss Harry, distracted, too focused on those two fingers inside of him. Harry’s mouth moved to his neck, sucking a red bruise into the skin there. “I want you, inside of me.” He looked up into Harry’s eyes. The green there was dark with lust. Lust suppressed for too long. “Soon.” Harry said simply, stroking his prostate, filling Louis’ cock with pleasure.

“Hold your breath.” He told Louis as the third finger entered. “I’m not hiding.” Louis said and reached down to take Harry into his hand. Harry was thick, hot, scorching hot and the weight felt so good in Louis’ hand that he could cry. He directed Harry’s cock so that it was rubbing against Louis. “Oh my god.” Louis cried as he tried to hold both of them in one hand. He couldn’t. His hand was too small. He felt Harry’s bigger one closed around his fingers.

“Too good for me. So bad for me.” Harry was saying with his hand over Louis’, rubbing their cocks together, getting them off together. “I’m going to blackout.” Louis said warningly. “If you don’t fuck me already.” Harry was grinning as he jerked them together. Louis felt messy precome leaking over the back of his hand. He came first, his cock jerking against Harry’s. It was heaven on earth, heaven in hell. Heaven there with Harry. And the boy hadn’t even fucked him yet.

He panted, riding the high of his orgasm and didn’t notice when Harry’s mouth left his and it was travelling down, pressing kisses into his stomach, into the come stains there. “Way too much.” He said to Harry, he was always telling Harry that the boy was too much. Too much love for Louis to take, offering too much for Louis that he feels overwhelmed all the time.

“Killing me with your love.” Harry laughed softly at Louis’ words and suddenly, his mouth was right there, in front of Louis’ hole. He clenched down hard on the three fingers still resting inside of him. “I will show you no mercy.” Harry was saying as he shoved his head in between Louis’ trembling thighs and kissed his hole. Hot, intent, with purpose, just like the way he kissed Louis’ mouth. “ _Harry_.” Louis whined, high and raspy. He was growing hard again so fast that he felt dizzy as the blood rushed from his head to his cock in a matter of seconds.

Harry twisted his fingers, wriggling them in Louis as he licked, sucked and ate Louis out. He had turned into a whole different person, driving Louis towards a cliff, pushing him off the edge, crashing down and falling hard and fast. Falling for Harry had been the hardest and easiest thing for Louis. Louis was fucked. No drug will ever make him feel this way. He felt like he was doing surgery, feeling like Harry was sewing a part of himself to Louis. Forever, getting too fucked up. Pills with the Hennessy will never make Louis feel this way. He will be okay, he reasoned. Like hell he will be. Harry’s tongue pried Louis open. All his insecurities, all his secrets, lying open on Harry’s tongue. He cried out Harry’s name. He could see purple rain behind his eyelids as Harry licked, twisted and loved him.

He was so out of it, he almost didn’t feel Harry extracting himself from deep inside of Louis. The boy reached for a condom, but Louis got cried out, broken. “I want to feel you.” Louis said but he was feeling himself flush. “Never mind. Put on that condom.” He said suddenly, Harry looked possessed as he stared down at Louis, “What do you mean?” The curly haired boy huffed out impatiently. “I might, I might not be that clean.” Louis said and felt his heart breaking as he thought about the past.

He didn’t remember if he had ever been with anyone bare but he knew, knew the painful fact that he wasn’t one hundred percent clean. He didn’t want to remember. He wanted to cry. He felt the sourness hitting his nose and the tears threatening to gather. Louis turned his head into the sheets, unable to meet Harry’s long gaze. “You know I don’t care. I only care that you care. If you care then we will not. But if you don’t care then I would very much like to. Like to show you how real my love is.” Louis was surprised to hear how calm and collected Harry sounded. Louis’ eyes found Harry’s in the dark. The luminous greens staring into the sea of ice.

“I love you.” Louis blurted, he needed timeout but he also needed Harry. Harry lined up and he was inside of Louis not a minute longer. He was so big, so good, so thick. He split Louis down the middle, sliding into him easily.

He kissed Louis long and deep as he began to move. Louis rocked his hips and locked his ankles behind Harry’s broad back. His muscles straining. With every drag against his walls, he called out Harry’s name and heard his boy echoing his name back to him. With every pound against his prostate, he thought about all the times they had hurt each other and how far they had come. Louis’ cock was rubbing against Harry’s toned stomach and he came at the same time as Harry groaned deeply.

“I will never regret the day I met you.” Harry was saying as he fucked Louis through his orgasm. They were there. Together. “Me either. I admit. You’re the only one for me.” Louis kissed Harry, feeling the caramel on his tongue, mixed with his own taste of citrus. They had made love and Louis knew it was only the beginning.

Louis was his depression but also his breath of fresh air. Seeing Louis wanting him back was so unreal that Harry had to make sure he was alive, putting his barely trembling hand on his heart. Yes, he was alive. And Louis had just let Harry fucked him, bare, broken and _his_. Harry needed Louis more than before. Now that he knew. Now that he knew Louis truly, madly and deeply loved him. He could see the stars when he gazed at Louis, snoring softly in his sheets, on his bed.

Niall had crept in shortly after his boy had passed out, too fucked out, too loved out. “Is he alive? And also, this room smells like sex.” Niall had jerked his thumb towards Louis’ small form under the covers. Harry rolled his eyes, cradling Louis closer to his chest. “He told you he loved you?” Niall asked and Harry nodded, shifting a little so that Louis’ head laid at a more comfortable angle. “Good.” Niall said simply. “Lou probably loved you, for a long time really. Probably the same time you start loving him.”

Harry smiled at that. “No, Niall, I’m sure I loved him way before he even knew I existed.” He said with confidence. Niall shrugged, sitting cross legged down on his bed. He picked up his guitar. Niall was really at writing songs and the like. He played guitar really well too. “Whatever you say, Harry.” He said softly as he strummed.

 _Over and over the only truth_ _  
Everything comes back to you_


End file.
